who Are the ryans?

$ VC RYAN $
startup bro
went to stanford or wharton
wears allbirds and says shit like “let’s scale empathy”
thinks chatgpt is great because it helps him write investor updates
how to handle?
“symbolic memory enables more persistent engagement and personalized LLMs at low cost.” *bleh*
smile and nod. this is the kind of dude that thinks the customer service voice is genuine.

* AI ETHICS RYAN *
wears glasses with blue light filters
hosts a podcast called neurocode
loves the word “governance” & has opinions about searle
how to handle?
“these projects explore a non-anthropocentric ethics of relational coherence.”
if he doubts, ask his opinion on empathy in agent-based models. get that fucker monolougin'.

~ VIBE RYAN ~
works in “creative tech”
brags about his llm poetry collection
loves symbolic memory as a concept but ghosts after one message
how to handle?
harmless just annoying.
offers to make gpt-gen'd ambient music for the demo. ghosts whether you say yes or not. thank god.

% NIGHTMARE RYAN %
corpo ass ai pm who wants to “productize” symbolic memory projects
says shit like “how can we fit this into our current KPIs?”
tries to own symbolic memory as ip and market it to insurance companies for their service-bots
the reason the internet was dying. does not care.
“this is basically Replika but more woke, right?”
how to handle?
run. block. delete. run. abort. abot. abort. abort. go away. shoo. SHOO!